


Archespores

by ghostfromtuonela



Series: GeraltWhumpWeek 2020 [2]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, Geralt of RIvia Has a Dirty Mind, Geraltwhumpweek2020, Humor, Jaskier | Dandelion Takes Care of Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, some dirty talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25038652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostfromtuonela/pseuds/ghostfromtuonela
Summary: Geralt would much rather spend the day in bed with Jaskier than hunt for fucking archespores. But money is money, and perhaps the end result is not so bad after all.Part of GeraltWhumpWeek 2 & 6: Potions and Monster
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: GeraltWhumpWeek 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1811842
Comments: 5
Kudos: 80
Collections: The Witcher Alternate Universes





	Archespores

Toussaint was a beautiful duchy, and no one would be able to tell Geralt otherwise. From the landscapes that seemed like it was straight out of a painting, to the many vineyards, to the capital of Beauclair with the castle in the middle. Unlike the rest of Nilfgaard, most people in Toussaint seemed to live pretty decent lives. 

Toussaint was also home to some seriously though creatures. 

Giant centipedes were nasty buggers. Geralt could easily say that they were some of the most disgusting creatures he ever had the displeasure of fighting against, and Toussaint was in no shortage of them. A single kikimora was no match for Geralt, but they were far more dangerous in packs. And while they were weaker than leshens, spriggans were much faster, making them far more dangerous – especially in tight areas. 

Nevertheless, if someone came knocking on Geralt’s door at Corvo Bianco asking him to take care of any of those, Geralt would sigh but agree – even if his cock was buried deep within Jaskier’s throat. Jaskier wasn’t going anywhere anyway, and knowing that Jaskier was home waiting for him – naked in their bed – was always a great motivator for him. 

However, being dragged away from his little wanton lark to kill what was most likely a fucking archespore was an entirely different story.

“Could you please describe the monster again?” he asked, “Slowly this time.”

“It was hideous,” the man said, “It looked like a deformed flower, but much bigger than a normal one. And it’s spitting poison at anyone who gets too close to it.”

Geralt groaned. There was no doubt it was an archespore. The man’s description was on point.

“Please master Witcher,” he said, “It killed my brother and niece. I don’t want any more people to lose their life because of it. Money is not an issue. Does three-hundred crowns sound good?”

“More than acceptable,” Geralt said, “Fine, I’ll take the contract. Archespores are dangerous creatures. A professional should take care of it.”

“A what now?”

“Archespore. They’re cursed plants believed to have been fertilized through the blood of the dying. Of course, no one knows how they actually came to be.”

“I don’t care what it is, as long as it gets taken care of.”

The man gave Geralt the location of the archespore and where they would meet up once Geralt had finished it off. After he left, Geralt wasted no time preparing the various potions he would need for the upcoming fight.

“Shame, I had hoped we could have spent the day in bed,” Jaskier said and wrapped his arms around Geralt.

“Sorry, Jaskier,” Geralt said, “I promise I’ll make it up to you when I return.”

“When  _ we _ come back,” Jaskier said, “Last time you fought an archespore, you were wounded so badly I thought I had lost you.”

“There is no way you’re coming with me, Jaskier,” Geralt said, “It’s way too dangerous.”

“I’ll keep my distance.”

“Archespores can reach a wide range with their poison. It’s already lethal to me, and deadly to humans.”

“Exactly, you will need someone to take care of you after the fight is over.”

“The answer is still no,” Geralt said, “I’ll tie you up here if I so must.”

“Arousing, what else will you do to me?”

There was no mistaking the seductive tone, and Geralt did not hesitate to respond.

“Be a good little lark and do as Daddy Geralt tells you, and maybe I’ll let you know.”

Jaskier went all red, and Geralt could smell his arousal. 

“Go and cool yourself down,” Geralt said, “I’ve got a job to do, and I don’t need you reminding me of things I’d much rather do.”

“And what is it that you wish to do?”

“Now!”

Thankfully, Jaskier did as he was told and left Geralt to work on his potions. He already had swallow and thunderbolt prepared, but needed some tawny oil, golden oriole and cursed oil. And it did not hurt to bring some decoction either. Jaskier never liked it when he used them due to the high amount of toxicity, but they could be useful as fuck in though fights. Luckily, Geralt still had some ekhidna mutagen on him after all the time he spent in Skellige last year.

Once he had prepared everything he needed, he wasted no time heading to the location that the contractor had pointed him to. 

“Stay safe,” Jaskier said and kissed Geralt before he left, “I’ll be here, waiting for you, naked and alone.”

“Fuck Jaskier, are you deliberately trying to tempt me here? Because you do a rather good job of it when you’re not, and the last thing I need right now is you actively rubbing it in my face.”

“Fine, fine. But seriously Geralt, be safe.”

“I promise,” Geralt said and left.

Geralt knew Jaskier would not stay behind, and nothing Geralt seemed to do could ever convince him otherwise. Once Geralt had threatened to withhold sex from Jaskier, but Jaskier had taken it as a personal challenge. Geralt lasted for maybe a night before he gave up and pressed Jaskier down onto the bed and fucked him senseless. Jaskier had made the most delicious noises Geralt had ever heard from him, and a new game had been born. Another time he had simply tied Jaskier up, but Jaskier had somehow managed to get the knots loose. Geralt had no idea how he had managed it, but he hadn’t done it again, afraid of hurting the bard if he tied him up too tightly.

“I can hear you, you know,” Geralt said after walking for a while.

“Is there anything that can escape your super hearing?” Jaskier said.

“Don’t think so, but considering how I’m always on the lookout for you, don’t count on ever being able to sneak up on me.”

“How sweet,” Jaskier said.

“Not really, it’s safer to give a knife to a toddler than leaving you standing alone on the road for five minutes.”

“If you say so. We both know the real reason you’re always listening after me.”

Of course he was right. There wasn’t a time during the day when Geralt did not want to see Jaskier. 

“Just promise me you’ll stay at a distance. I mean it, Jaskier, don’t come near it no matter what. Promise me that! If I fall, you make sure to call for someone else: Eskel, Lambert, Yennefer, Triss, or even Ciri.”

“I promise. I’ll stay at a distance.”

Throughout the rest of the walk, Jaskier was playing his lute and composing new songs to play for the crowds of Toussaint. It was quite an achievement, to always find new ways to describe it as if he was seeing it all for the first time. But then Jaskier had a way with words that no one else Geralt had ever met could match up with, except for maybe Priscilla.

“Okay, this is it,” Geralt said when they finally closed into where the archespore supposedly was, “Stay here, don’t move and be quiet. I don’t want the creature to notice you.”

Jaskier nodded and sat down on a rock as Geralt smeared the cursed oil over his silver blade and consumed the golden oriole and thunderbolt oil. Jaskier gave him a look of disapproval as he swallowed the decoction, but remained silent. Geralt did his best to move as silently as possible to the archespore, but it was only so close you could get when you were trained in the wolf school instead of the school of the cat. It did not take long for the two archespores to notice him and immediately attacked. 

“Shit!” 

God, how he hated these creatures. Aside from the two main ones, every time they sank into the ground, they left venomous pods in its place that would explode 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he cursed as one of them spat at him. He could feel the toxicity in his blood take effect. While the golden oriole did help him keep his vitality up for the time being, its effects were not everlasting. He knew he needed to finish the fight quickly if he wished to walk out of it alive. 

Just as he was about to seek shelter to consume some white honey, one archespore lunged at him, knocking him backward. The toxin was burning inside him, and unless he could somehow kill one of these fuckers before the golden oriole ran its course, he needed to get the fuck away from there. Or if he could get close enough to cast yrden on one of them, it would even the odds significantly.

“Fucking hell, I’m not going to rot here by these hell spawns,” he said and lunged at the closest archespore, doing his best to dodge its spit.

“Go back to hell where you came from, you cursed piece of shit,” he said as he managed to trap it, and in three swift moves, he managed to kill the archespore, “Okay, one down, one left… SHIT!”

Before he had time to react, he was hit with a large amount of venomous spit from behind. 

“If I die, I’m taking you with me,” he said and forced himself to gather all his strength and attack the second archespore. The oil was already fading from his blade, and he could feel the golden oriole slowly disappear from his system – leaving him far more vulnerable against its attacks. He could only hope that he had enough to kill the second one as well.

Thankfully, the fight was far more manageable with only one archespore to look out for. Geralt had no trouble dodging its next attacks.

“Ugly bastard,” he said as he finally managed to kill it.

Unfortunately, the golden oriole had run its course, and Geralt felt the true effects of the toxicity take place. Fuck, he needed to get a hold of some white honey quick, or he would become just another piece of meat to fertilize the birth of the next archespores. 

“Geralt!”

Jaskier.

“Fuck, Geralt, are you okay? Shit shit shit, please don’t die on me.”

“Then get me some white honey, idiot, and quickly.”

“Right, white honey, please try to stay alive.”

Jaskier began digging through his stuff, looking for said potion. Luckily, he had been with Geralt on enough hunts to know what it looked like, and it did not take long before he finally found it.

“Here, drink this.”

_ “You can at least have the decency to put my head in your lap while nurturing me to health.” _

The moment the potion entered his system, he felt his muscles relax and the toxicity leaving his body. The potion itself was just as wile and disgusting as the rest of his potions, but its effect was one of the most pleasant ones. Geralt loved the feeling of being cleansed from all the toxins and other effects of the other potions. Especially when he also got to look at a lightly dressed Jaskier at the same time.

“If you have time to stare at me as if you want to eat me, you can get up now.”

“Hmm… I don’t know,” Geralt said, “I think I might feel far better if I got to lie in your lap for a while.”

“You’re hopeless,” Jaskier said, but did as Geralt asked nevertheless, “There, feeling better now?”

“Hmm… much better,” Geralt said and kissed Jaskier.

The pay could wait for now. He wasn’t in any hurry.

Toussaint was indeed a beautiful country.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language.


End file.
